TOMORROW
It is tomorrow that fills men with dread. God is there already. All the tomorrows of our life have to pass Him before they can get to us.
—F. B. Meyer
TONGUE TWISTER
The most difficult tongue-twister is said to be, “The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep is sick.”
—Farmer’s Almanac
TRADITION
Tradition is the living faith of those now dead. Traditionalism is the dead faith of those now living.
TRAFFIC
Despite the fact that computer speeds are measured in nanoseconds and picoseconds—one billionth and one trillionth of a second, respectively—the smallest interval of time known to man is that which occurs between the traffic light turning green and the driver behind you blowing his horn.
—Johnny Carson
TRAGEDY
The wise learn from tragedy; the foolish merely repeat it.
—Michael Novak
TRAVELING
“I understand you’re not going to Rome this summer,” said one woman to another.
“That was last year,” said the other. “This year we’re not going to London.”
—Bits & Pieces
The following are things you hate to hear when you are traveling:
“I thought you were listening when he was giving us directions.”
“It isn’t on the map.”
“Still glad we took the scenic back roads?”
“Folks, in my forty-two years of piloting, I’ve never seen anything like this.”
“According to your policy, a ‘masked holdup’ is an Act of God.”
“I’ve never seen a rash like that in my life.”
“You’ll have to share your cabin.”
“Didn’t you know this is our monsoon season?”
“What reservation?”
“We believe we found part of your suitcase.”
“Here are some candles and matches.”
“This is not your passport.”
“In your money, that converts to—hold onto your hat …”
“No, the man you gave your bags to does not work here.”
“Hey, Joe, you’ll never guess where these folks think they are.”
“Of course I can hear the boiler room over the phone. Now how may I help you, sir?”
—David Brenner
TRILLION
If you stack thousand-dollar bills, one on another, when you have a stack which is three inches high, you have a million dollars.
If you continue to stack them up to 250 feet high, you have a billion dollars.
If you continue to stack them up to a height of forty-seven miles, you have a trillion dollars.
The amount to pay off our national debt would be a stack of thousand-dollar bills almost 188 miles high.
—Henry C. Jones
If you began to count dollar bills at the rate of one a second, it would take you “only” 11.57 days to count to one million dollars. At the same rate, it would take you 31.69 years to count to one billion dollars. And at the same dollar a second rate, it would take you 31,688.09 years to count to one trillion dollars. The current national debt is more than three and one-half times that much.