CHRISTIANITY
The Christian way is not the “middle way” between extremes but the “narrow way” between precipices.
—Donald G. Bloesch
It isn’t that Christianity has been tried and found wanting. It is that it has been found difficult and so never really tried.
—G. K. Chesterton
Referring to some foolish actions taken by the Roman emperor Diocletian, C. H. Spurgeon underscored the futility of opposing God and the indestructibility of the church. Spurgeon wrote: “A medal was struck by Diocletian bearing the inscription, ‘The name of Christians being extinguished.’ And in Spain, two monu-mental pillars were raised by Diocletian. One was written; ‘Diocletian Jovian Maximian Herculeus Caesares Augusti for having extended the Roman Empire in the east and the west, and for having extinguished the name of Christians, who brought the Republic to ruin.’ ” On the second pillar was an inscription praising the Emperor, “for having everywhere abolished the superstition of Christ, for having extended the worship of the God.”
—Our Daily Bread
I would that I could be Christlike without becoming a Christian.
—Mahatma Gandhi
Julian, Roman emperor from A.D. 360 to 363, decreed that Christianity be outlawed, and he vigorously sought to destroy it. Passing by an old Christian one day Julian said, “Where is your Christ now?” The old man replied, “Making a coffin for the Roman emperor.”
At last death caught up with Julian, and he cried out, “O Galilean, thou hast conquered.”
CHRISTIANITY—GROWTH OF
There are now 140,000 Christian missionaries serving around the globe, according to Operation World. Evangelical Christianity is the only religion growing because of actual conversions. Over 500 million strong now, evangelical Christianity has grown one hundred-fold in the last one hundred years—ten times faster than any other religious group that size. Reports at a recent missions conference indicate that it is possible that every person on earth may hear the gospel by the year 2000.
—Wesleyan Advocate
CHRISTIANITY—OBJECTIONS TO
A preacher announced a special men’s meeting in his church, proposing to give the men a chance to air their objections to Christianity.
Over twelve hundred men were present. The first objector said, “Church members are no better than others.”
“The ministers are no good,” said another.
And so the objections were mentioned one after another, as the pastor wrote them down on paper:
“Hypocrites in the church.”
“The church is a rich man’s club.”
“Christians don’t believe the Bible anymore.”
There were twenty-seven objections to Christianity in all.
When they were through, the pastor read off the whole list, then tossed it aside saying, “Friends, you have objected to pastors, to church members, to the Bible, etc., etc., but you have not said one word against my Master!”
And in a few simple words, he preached Christ to them as the faultless One and invited them to come to Him and believe on Him. Forty-nine men responded.
CHRISTIAN LIVING
In his essays on Different Characters of the Christian, Lord Bacon wrote, “A Christian is one that believes things his reason cannot comprehend, and hopes for things which neither he nor any man alive ever saw. He believes Three to be One and One to be Three; a Father not to be older than His Son, and the Son to be equal with His Father. He believes himself to be precious in God’s sight, and yet loathes himself in his own. He dares not justify himself even in those things wherein he can find no fault with himself, and yet believes that God accepts him in those services wherein he is able to find many faults. He is so ashamed that he dares not open his mouth before the Lord, yet comes with boldness to God, and asks him anything he needs. He hath within him both flesh and spirit, and yet he is not doubleminded; he is often led captive by the law of sin, yet it never gets dominion over him. He cannot sin, yet can do nothing without sin. He is so humble as to acknowledge himself to deserve nothing but evil, and yet he believes that God means him all good.”
Our lives should preach good sermons. According to the book Life of Francis d’Assisi, Francis once invited a young monk to join him on a trip to town to preach. Honored to be given the invitation, the monk readily accepted.
All day long he and Francis walked through the streets, byways, and alleys, and even into the suburbs. They rubbed shoulders with hundreds of people. At the day’s end, the two headed back home. Not even once had Francis addressed a crowd, nor had he talked to anyone about the gospel. Greatly disappointed, his young companion said, “I thought we were going to town to preach.” Francis responded, “My son, we have preached. We were preaching while we were walking. We were seen by many and our behavior was closely watched. It is of no use to walk anywhere to preach unless we preach everywhere as we walk!”
—Our Daily Bread
My love for the Lord is not measured by the things I am willing to do for Him—but the things I am not willing to do for Him.
Jonathan Goforth’s Seven Rules for Daily Living:
1. Seek to give much—expect nothing.
2. Put the very best construction on the actions of others.
3. Never let a day pass without at least a quarter of an hour spent in the study of the Bible.
4. Never omit daily morning and evening private prayer and devotions.
5. In all things seek to know God’s will, and when known obey at any cost.
6. Seek to cultivate a quiet, prayerful spirit.
7. Seek each day to do or say something to further Christianity.
Elbert Hubbard, writer, editor, and printer, was a brilliant eccentric. On the front page of his magazine, The Philistine, he once printed a single sentence: “Remember the Weekday to Keep It Holy.”
Life ought not to be divided into compartments labeled sacred and secular. Monday can be as significant and sacred as Sunday.
Live as if Christ died yesterday, rose this morning, and is coming back again tomorrow.
—Martin Luther
Little of the Word, with little prayer, is death to the spiritual life.
Much of the Word, with little prayer, gives a sickly life.
Much prayer, with little of the Word, gives more life but without steadfastness.
A dill measure of the Word and prayer each day gives a healthy and powerful life.
—Andrew Murray
There were two brothers, each of whom was distinguished in his own field. One was a noted minister; the other, a famous physician. One day a woman, wishing to confer with the minister but unsure whether the person she was addressing was the preacher or the physician, inquired: “Are you the doctor who preaches, or the one who practices?”
A holy life will produce the deepest impression. Lighthouses blow no horns; they only shine.
—D. L. Moody
Endeavor to so live that when you die, even the undertaker will be sorry.
Four questions I should ask myself each night: Was I easy to live with? Did I grow a bit today? Was I pleasant to work with? Did I help someone along the way?
—William Arthur Ward
It is not what men eat, but what they digest that makes them strong;
not what we gain, but what we save that makes us rich;
not what we read, but what we remember that makes us learned;
not what we preach or pray,
but what we practice and believe that makes us Christians.
—Frances Bacon
Ten Things to Remember
1. The value of time
2. The success of perseverance
3. The pleasure of working
4. The dignity of simplicity
5. The worth of character
6. The power of kindness
7. The obligation of duty
8. The influence of example
9. The wisdom of economy
10. The virtue of patience
—Bits & Pieces
A Christian is:
A mind through which Christ thinks
A voice through which Christ speaks
A heart through which Christ loves
A hand through which Christ helps
When Billy Sunday was converted and joined the church, a Christian man put his arm on the young man’s shoulder and said, “William, there are three simple rules I can give to you, and if you will hold to them you will never write ‘backslider’ after your name.
“Take fifteen minutes each day to listen to God talking to you; take fifteen minutes each day to talk to God; take fifteen minutes each day to talk to others about God.”
The young convert was deeply impressed and determined to follow these rules of life. From that day onward throughout his life he made it a rule to spend the first moments of his day alone with God and God’s Word. Before he read a letter, looked at a paper, or even read a telegram, he went first to the Bible, so that the first impression of the day might be what he got directly from God.
My life helps to paint my neighbor’s picture of God.
—Peter Holmes
During World War II a poster in England read, “Careless Talk Costs Lives.” Also applicable for the Christian could be the reverse: “Careless Lives Cost Talk.”
You are the best Christian someone knows.
Blessed is the man who is faithful on a committee.
Blessed is the man who can endure an hour and five minutes in a place of worship as well as two hours in a place of recreation.
Blessed is the church officer who is not pessimistic.
Blessed in the man who loves his church with his pocketbook as well as with his heart.
Blessed is the man who has grace enough to leave his critical spirit on the sidewalk when he comes to church.
Blessed is the man who loves his own church enough to praise it.
Christians should always strive to be like a good watch—open face, busy hands, pure gold, well regulated, and full of good works.
When pioneer missionary Ludwig Nommensen began his work among the Batak tribes of Southeast Asia, a village chief gave him two years to learn the customs and to convince them that he had a message worth hearing. At the end of that time he was asked how Christianity differed in its moral rules from the traditions of the Batak. “We know what is right,” said the tribal leader, “for we too have laws that say we must not steal, or take our neighbor’s wives, or tell lies.” “That’s true,” the missionary answered, “but my Master supplies the power needed to keep these laws.” The chief was startled. “Can you really teach my people to live better?” he inquired. “No, I can’t, but if they receive Jesus Christ, God will give them the strength to do what’s right.” Being permitted to remain another six months, Nommensen preached the Gospel and taught the villagers how the Holy Spirit works in the believer’s life. At the end of that time the chief said, “You may stay longer. Your religion is better than ours, for your God walks with men and gives them strength to do the good things He requires.”
—Our Daily Bread
A mother was telling her little boy what manner of person a Christian should be. When the lesson was finished, the mother got a stab she never forgot, when her boy asked seriously, “Mother, have I ever seen a Christian?”
The children born into a royal family are taught and trained and exhorted to conduct themselves as royalty which they are by birth. They are an honor to the king only as they so conduct themselves. There are many things they cannot do that are not forbidden to other children. On the other hand, to the street waif of the lower East Side of New York City there can be no appeal to live as a son of a king because he does not hold that position.
A young book salesman was assigned to a rural area. Seeing a farmer seated in a rocking chair on his front porch, the young man approached him with all the zeal of a newly trained salesman. “Sir,” he said, “I have here a book that will tell you how to farm ten times better than you are doing it now.” The farmer continued to rock. After a few seconds he stopped, looked at the young fellow and said, “Son, I don’t need your book. I already know how to farm ten times better than I’m doing it now.”
—James Kallam
It is better to die for something than it is to live for nothing.
Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
—Mark Twain
Years ago during World War I, one of our airmen took off from a field in Kobar, Arabia. While on the ground in Kobar, a large rat had gotten into the aircraft.
The pilot became aware of the rat’s presence when he was in midair and heard the sound of gnawing behind him. Alarmed by the threat of disaster, he remembered that rats cannot live in high altitudes. Accordingly he pointed his plane upward until breathing was difficult. After some time, when the gnawing had ceased, he descended to a landing where he found the rat had died.
Many, if not most, of our struggles can be eliminated by rising to a higher altitude in our Christian walk.
—Charles R. Diffee
A small boy was asked why he fell out of bed. He replied, “I guess I slept too close to the place I got in.” That tells the story of many persons. Because they did not advance after becoming Christians, their lives are filled with “fallings.”
CHRISTLIKENESS
The young son of a humble, consecrated pastor became very ill. After the boy had undergone an exhaustive series of tests, the father was told the shocking news that his son had a terminal illness. The youngster had accepted Christ as his Savior, so the minister knew that death would usher him into Glory; but he wondered how to inform him that he soon would die. After earnestly seeking the direction of the Holy Spirit, he went with a heavy heart through the hospital ward to the boy’s bedside. First he read a passage of Scripture and had a time of prayer with his dear child. Then he gently told him that the doctors could promise him only a few more days to live. “Are you afraid to meet Jesus, my boy?” asked his devout father. Blinking away a few tears, the little fellow said bravely, “No, not if He’s like you, Dad.”
A wealthy Oriental man took his little daughter to a missionary school, willing to pay any expense. The father, however, didn’t want his daughter to enroll as a student, but merely to remain only long enough for the missionaries to put something on her face to make her as beautiful as the other girls at the school. The missionary in charge of the school explained that nothing was put on the girls’ faces to make them pretty.
“Then why are they better looking than the girls in our towns? When girls come here they are just plain looking, but before long they become pretty. What do you put on their faces?”
The missionary replied, “It’s not something we put on their faces, but Someone they receive into their hearts.”
—Leslie B. Flynn
In an Italian city stands a statue of a Grecian maiden with a beautiful face, a graceful figure, and a noble expression. One day a poor little peasant girl came face-to-face with the statue. She stood and stared and then went home to wash her face and comb her hair. The next day she came again to stand before the statue and then to return home once more. This time she mended her tattered clothing. Day by day she changed, her form grew more graceful and her face more refined, until she greatly reflected the famous statue. She was transformed in appearance! Just so, the spiritual man must each day seek to conform to the perfect image of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
—George Sweeting
At the end of each year a pastor asked his congregation, “Beloved, as we come to the end of another year, have we become more like Jesus Christ?”
There is a legend that is very old concerning an Oriental king who commanded three architects to submit models of a temple he proposed to build, a temple to the sun.
The first architect’s model was made of finely chiseled stone and was admired by the potentate. The second architect submitted a miniature temple of gold, and the king praised it highly and made special mention of the fact that it reflected the brightness of the sun. The third model was almost invisible, for it was made of glass; but in two ways it surpassed the works of the other architects: not only did it reflect the image of the sun but, in its transparency, the sunlight poured through its walls so that, inside and out, the glory of that to which it was dedicated shined.
The sum total of your religion is to be like the one you worship.
—Pythagoras
It’s not great talent whom God blesses so much as likeness to Jesus.
—Robert Murray McCheyne
Man can be restored to God by Christ, can know God through Christ, and can become like God in Christ.
—G. Campbell Morgan
Miss Kathryn Dick is in charge of a youth camp near Ibadan, Nigeria. So well appreciated, she’s a citizen of Nigeria. A man put on his trunk, “If you want to know God, see Miss Dick.”
CHRISTMAS
Some businessmen are saying that this could be the greatest Christmas ever. I thought the first one was.
—Hal Roach
“How did your wife like the back scratchers I sent her for Christmas?”
“So that’s what they were? She’s been making me eat salad with them.”
—Hal Roach
Many years ago a wealthy European family decided to have their newborn baby baptized in their enormous mansion. Dozens of guests were invited to the elaborate affair, and they all arrived dressed in the latest fashion. After depositing their elegant wraps on a bed in an upstairs room, the guests were entertained royally. Soon the time came for the main purpose of their gathering, the infant’s baptismal ceremony. But where was the child? No one seemed to know.
The child’s governess ran upstairs, only to return with a desperate look on her face. Everyone searched frantically for the baby. Then, someone recalled having seen the child sleeping on one of the beds. The baby was on a bed, all right—buried underneath a pile of coats, jackets, and furs. The very object of that day’s celebration had been forgotten, neglected, and nearly smothered. Similarly, many people overlook the main point of Christmas—celebrating the birth of Christ.
There are three stages in a person’s life. First, he believes in Santa Claus. Second, he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. Third, he is Santa Claus.
—Donald Guthrie
Someone asked a boy, “Did you get everything you wanted for Christmas?”
The boy said, “No, I didn’t get everything I wanted. But then it’s not my birthday, is it?”
“I’m Sorry, I Have No Room”
When Joseph came to the inn that night,
he was tired, weary, and worn;
And Mary, his wife, was weary, too, her
child about to be born.
The innkeeper told them, “I have no room,”
and started to send them away.
“But wait,” he called, “I think I can help;
though it’s only a barn with some hay.”
They said they’d be grateful for even a barn—
at least it was some place to stay.
Then Joseph thanked the innkeeper there as
he settled his wife in the hay.
The stars seemed to shine that first Christmas night
as they never had shone before,
And as Jesus came into the world for us,
they seemed to shine even more.
Shepherds strayed to the manger scene,
worshiping as they came.
Three wise men were led from the Orient far,
searching to do the same.
It wasn’t exactly the place for a King;
why, it wasn’t even the inn!
No, out in a barn, in a manger poor,
He was born, to take away sin.
The innkeeper had no room that night;
I wonder, how about you?
If Jesus asked for a place in your heart,
what do you think you would do?
For you know some day when life has passed
and you stand at the door of the inn,
The Lord may look at you sadly there and
you’ll hear these words from Him:
“I have no room, I’m sorry, my friend;
I’m truly sorry to say.
“I have no room,” He’ll tell you once more,
then turn and send you away.
—Ann Farrell Blunt
12 Days of Christmas
1st day
partridge
$ 15
pear tree
14
2nd day
2 turtle doves
10
3rd day
3 French hens
36
4th day
4 calling birds
140
5th day
5 gold rings
1,000
6th day
6 geese a-laying
1,260
7th day
7 swans a-swimming
1,260
8th day
8 maids a-milking
216
9th day
9 ladies dancing
6,000
10th day
10 lords a-leaping
500
11th day
11 pipers piping
500
12th day
12 drummers drumming
600
$ 10,351
One
One starlit night
One couple in distress
One shabby stable
Only one place to rest
One group of shepherds
One night long ago
One angel’s message
Only one place to go
One wiseman’s journey
One king did they seek
One Son of David
Only one child so meek
One reason for coming
One goal on earth’s sod
One death that redeems
Only one way to God.
—Myra Dye
The perfect Christmas gift for the person who has everything is a burglar alarm.
—Bits & Pieces
The five-year-old son of a friend of ours told his mother when he came home from Sunday school one day in December that he was in a Christmas play. “Who were you?” his mother asked him.
“I was the voice of God.”
We smile at this story. But shouldn’t every one of us speak as the voice of God in this world?
—The Pilgrim
Don’t get so wrapped up in what the world has to sell that you miss what God has to give.
CHURCH
Four purposes of the local church:
1. Exaltation of Jesus Christ
2. Evangelism of the lost
3. Edification of believers
4. Expression of service
The article “What Good Is a Tree?” in Reader’s Digest explained that when the roots of trees touch, there is a substance present that reduces competition. In fact, this unknown fungus helps link roots of different trees—even of dissimilar species. A whole forest may be linked together. If one tree has access to water, another to nutrients, and a third to sunlight, the trees have the means to share with one another.
Like trees in a forest, Christians in the church need and support one another.
—Blair F. Rorabaugh
Today much of the professing church has gone in for theatrics, running a showboat instead of a lifeboat, staging a performance instead of living an experience, a “form of godliness without the power thereof.”
—The Vance Havner Quote Book
In its newsletter, the Courtright, Ontario United Church described the sort of church it does not want to be: (1) Museum style—where you go only as a spectator. (2) Hairdresser style—where they split every hair four ways. (3) Service-station style—where you go just to be filled up. (4) Sleeping-car style—where the passengers don’t want to be disturbed. (5) Refrigerator style—where the icy chill drives out any new arrival.
He who does not go to church in bad weather will go to hell when it’s fair.
—Finnish proverb
What keeps churches from accomplishing their goals? Rex Johnson of Talbot Seminary suggests three things:
1. Moral failure of the leaders (and therefore people lose their confidence in them and leave).
2. Lack of encouragement.
3. Burnout (too few leaders trying to do too much).
A pastor was talking to a poor lady who worked hard as a cleaning woman. He told her how glad he was to see her in her place in church every Sunday, so attentive to his sermons.
“Yes, it is such a rest after working hard all week to come to church, sit down on the soft cushions, and not think about anything.”
What are the clues that a church is living, vital, and active? These ideas may help:
1. Live churches have many people who bring their Bibles and use them; dead churches do not.
2. Live churches are filled with praise and sounds of joy and thanksgiving; dead churches are apathetic and lifeless.
3. Live churches usually have parking problems; dead churches never have to worry about parking.
4. Live churches are moving out by “faith”; dead churches creep along by sight.
5. Live churches have lots of children and young people and “noise”; dead churches are quiet as tombs.
6. Live churches center on serving people; dead churches focus mainly on problems.
7. Live churches are filled with a spirit of love for each other; dead churches are filled with suspicious, critical, and bickering people.
8. Live churches are always emphasizing evangelism, discipleship, and involvement; dead churches ask for little and get it.
9. Live churches have many sacrificial givers; dead churches have people who only “tip” the Lord.
10. Live churches are always growing; dead churches are plateaued or declining.
The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
—Aldous Huxley
In a survey by the Princeton Religion Research Center, 59 percent of those polled expressed “a great deal” or “quite a lot” of confidence in the church, putting it at the top of a list of ten institutions, including: the military (58 percent), banks (49 percent), Congress (35 percent), television (27 percent), and big business (25 percent).
Maybe that’s why every week 41 percent of Americans—nearly 100 million people—attend church.
—Emerging Trends
A boy saw flags in a church. He asked a lady what they were for. She said, “Oh, they are for those who have died in the service.” The boy said, “In the eleven o’clock service or the nine o’clock service?”
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Somxtimxs it sxxms to mx that our church is somxwhat likx my typxwritxr—not all thx kxy pxoplx arx working propxrly.
You may say to yoursxlf, “Wxll, I am only onx pxrson. I won’t makx or brxak thx church.” But it doxs makx a diffxrxncx becausx a church to bx xffxctivx nxxds thx activx participation of xvxry pxrson.
So, thx nxxt timx you think you arx only onx pxrson and that your xfforts arx not nxxdxd, rxmxmbxr my typxwritxr and say to yoursxlf, “I am a kxy pxrson in thx congrxgation, and I am nxxdxd vxry much.”
Size of U.S. Church
The 1990 Statistical Abstract of the United States (110th edition) reports that there are 294,271 religious congregations in the continental United States. Here are the approximate percentages of congregations falling in the following size ranges:
Fewer than 100 members: 12 percent
100–199 members: 19 percent
200–499 members: 32 percent
500–999 members: 16 percent
1,000 or more members: 12 percent
According to these statistics, there are three to four times as many “small churches” (congregations with fewer than 200 members) as there are “megachurches” (congregations with 1,000 or more members). On the other hand more people are members of “megachurches” than of “small churches.”
—Church Law & Tax Report
CHURCH ATTENDANCE
Mother to her young son, “Would you like to be at home for home schooling, or would you like to go off to public school?”
He thought for a moment, and then said, “Yeah, I’d like to have home schooling. Can you do church too?”
1. Pillars … worship regularly, giving time and money.
2. Supporters … give time and money if they like the minister and treasurer.
3. Leaners … use the church for funerals, baptisms, and marriages but give no time or money to support the church.
4. Working leaners … work but do not give money.
5. Specials … help and give occasionally.
6. Annuals … or Easter Birds, dress up, look serious, and go to church on Easter.
7. Sponges … take all the blessings and benefits but give no money to support the church.
8. Tramps … go from church to church but support none.
9. Gossips … talk freely about everyone except the Lord Jesus.
10. Scrappers … take offense, criticize, and fight.
11. Orphans … are children sent by parents who do not set them an example.
12. Hypocrites … are leaners who say they are better than churchgoers.
—Watchman Examiner
An old preacher said to his audience, “Some folks think they hurt the church when they get mad and quit, but they are wrong about that. It never hurts the tree for the dried-up apples to fall off.”
A stockyard salesman was trying to sell a certain horse to an interested customer who was a preacher. The man said, “This horse is perfectly sound. He can go in any gait—walk, pace, fox-trot, or gallop. He will stand without hitching, work anywhere you put him—on the off side or on the near side, in buggy, plow, or wagon. He is perfectly gentle though full of spirit, goes when you want him to, and stops when you say Whoa! He has no bad traits, he does not bite or kick, he comes when you call, and he does not run off when he sees anything strange.”
The preacher looked admirably at the horse and said, “I wish that horse was a member of my church.”
Morbus Sabbaticus (Sunday Sickness) is a disease peculiar to church membership.
1. The symptoms vary, but it never interferes with the appetite.
2. It never lasts more than 24 hours at a time.
3. No physician is ever called.
4. It always proves fatal in the end—to the soul.
5. It is contagious.
6. It is indicative of a worse disease—carnality.
7. It passes away Sunday afternoon so that the patient can go riding in the car, returns during the evening, and then by Monday morning is completely gone so that the patient can go to work and feel fine.
A tip from a farmer: “I see in your church convention,” said an old farmer to the preacher, “that you discussed the subject: ‘How to get people to attend church.’ I have never heard a single address at a farmers’ convention on how to get the cattle to come to the rack. We spend our time discussing the best kind of feed.” Feeding the people spiritually is still the best means of increasing church attendance.
“How many people attend your church?” one pastor asked another. The minister thought a moment and then replied, “Sixty regular, 250 C and E.”
“What’s C and E?” the other wanted to know.
Came the prompt answer, “Christmas and Easter.”
—United Mine Worker’s Journal
Top Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash
Substituting “wash” for “attend church” puts the following excuses in a much different perspective.
10. I was forced to as a child.
9. People who wash are hypocrites—they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
8. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
7. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.
6. I only wash on special occasions like Christmas and Easter.
5. None of my friends wash.
4. I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
3. I can’t spare the time.
2. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in the summer.
1. People who make soap are only after your money.
Some folks go to church just three times in their lives—for hatching, matching, and dispatching. And they are sprinkled three times—with water, rice, and dust.
—Eugene Bertin
Gong to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile.
—Billy Sunday
A writer in the Chicago Daily News recently showed the ridiculous reasons some people give for not going to church by merely substituting the word “movies” for the word “church” in their excuses.
I’m out of the habit of going to the movies. I’d better not go tonight.
I have not been to the movies for so long the walls would fall in if I should go.
I know a man who has gone to the movies for years and he is no better than I am.
There are as many good people outside the movies as inside.
Too many hypocrites attend the movies.
I stay away from the movies because of the kind of folk who support them. I wouldn’t sit in the same room with Mr. So-and-So.
I don’t like the people in charge of the movies.
I stay away from the movies because I went when I was a child.
I need new clothes before I can go to the movies.
I have a friend visiting me and I don’t know whether he likes the movies or not, and I never meddle with a man’s private opinions.
I don’t go to the movies because the directors never call on me.
I don’t go to the movies because when I went the last time not a soul spoke to me.